he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
