I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm both gender and math confused
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
