Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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