There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Randomize
