i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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