if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
