imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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