My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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