I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
