I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So squirting runs in the family.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
