the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
