I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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