Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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