grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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