my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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