I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
high people should be assigned attendants
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
