I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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