My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
