Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
