i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
