He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
