Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
