i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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