I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
