whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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