You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
