Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
