yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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