so explain again why im purple
no
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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