she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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