The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
