That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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