I want to have your abortion
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
