at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
