he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
