Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
