She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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