Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
