i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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