All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
