We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's blow job season.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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