I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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