So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
