oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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