just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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