I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
