I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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