just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
