I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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