If that was your dad, he is hot
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
