Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Everyone says I win the strip club
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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