People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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